Friday, 02 October 2009

• Reflexion inspired by the song "Into the Blue" by Cain's Offering

  This song describes really well how I'm feeling about you-know who lately. You know, he still haunted me because I thought that I could not live without him; but after having words with Brian, I realized that I was letting the last shards of my love for him from finally growing up and leaving him mentally; since physically that silly little fuck is no longer in my life. I know that I'm broken and down, but every scar the venemous red hot blade of his words caused and every tear that has fallen because of him or falls because of different reasons means that I'm healing. My heart's still beating nearly 7 years after that failed suicide attempt with a bottle of Bailey's.  There were days in which I had flashing thoughts of comitting suicide since I strongly remember the sensation of fading into tender care when I was at the gates of death. But I haven't been having them ever since I've started doing productive stuff IRL in the afternoons. I'm beginning to love this scars, and some day I shall wear them with pride and joy of being a true surivivor. Because right now more than ready to start my voyage to a place in which they do not want me and I do not need them (right now I'm not even missing them anymore). No one forces me to feel anything.

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